Monday, 23 February 2015

Back in the Game

Days 49 through 53

Had sex! Woo for Wayne! Just as I was starting to accept the onset of a major dry spell, awesomeness occurs! There I am, sitting in the bar having a beer after work. It's about 10:30 in the pm. I saw this girl (woman) sitting alone when I walked over to the bar, thought she was super-cute, saw a glass at the bar next to her and assumed she must be with somebody. She was way too attractive to be single, I thought (pessimist that I am.)

I sit a seat away from her and drink a couple of beers watching the (ubiquitous) sports highlights on the big screen. After a half hour or so, I look over and see she has the same phone as me. I say, spontaneously, “Hey, do you hate your phone?”
“No, why?” she replies, and off I go into a rant about how I'm growing to hate my phone more with each day that passes. (This wasn't a line or a lie. The phone is a total prick; the battery life is rubbish, the power button doesn't work, I never notice texts and it calls people in my pocket when I'm singing along to Prince.)

I wasn't expecting anything by striking up this conversation, I was merely saying what was on my mind. But it gets us talking. She is super-receptive and we have eye contact and good body language right from the off. And she's gorgeous -- tall and slim with brown hair and eyes and a killer figure. I'm having trouble believing she's giving me the time of day and trying and put all thoughts of getting with her out of my mind in case I jinx myself.

Turns out she's from out east, is here on holiday and is friends with one of the hostesses from my work. So far, so great. We chat full-on for about half an hour. I buy her a drink, even though I am totally broke. (Thankfully my card didn't let me down at the end, I will just eat biscuits and rice till payday). She's laughing at my jokes and touching my arm and is clearly keen. I feel like pinching myself. Is this happening? To me?

Then her friend arrives and says they're off to another bar. She says do I want to come? Do I? So off we go. We meet a raucous crowd at the next bar and, in a stolen moment, we kiss! Brilliant! Then we go on this kind of bar crawl as the crowd we are with are dissatisfied with each successive bar and move on. I think they are all on cocaine. We eventually stop in a busy dive with a band playing and she starts grinding on me and putting my hands on her boobs. Needless to say, I am very aroused.

She starts telling me she wants to fuck my brains out and I'm nearly dying with a hard-on the size of the Empire State. I ask her to cut out with me and she says... yes!

So we're walking to mine and she asks, “where is your house, anyway?”
Just a short walk through a forest,” I say, lightly.
She stops. “A forest?
Ok, you're right,” I say, “let's get a cab.”
Somehow, a cab rounds the corner at that exact moment. I hail it. It stops. I have no idea how I am going to pay for it at this juncture having been Johnny Buydrinks all night, but I know we have to get it. 

Blessedly, the cab takes cards and mine comes through again. We make it back to mine and sneak in. And that's that. We have great (slightly drunk) sex and fall asleep.

Then the weird bit: I have a dream about PMO. My first one for ages and in the dream, she's right there and I can't work out why I've broken my (pornfree) vow when there is a beautiful, flesh-and-blood woman lying right next to me. I feel stupid and angry with myself and even go through having to admit a relapse on the blog. As usual with these dreams, I wake up completely relieved that it wasn't real, just as when you wake from a realistic nightmare. Maybe it's because there's still a link in my subconscious between sex and PMO. It's definitely strange that a dream like this should come after actual sex.

In the morning, we put it all back together. She texts her friend, it's all good and we have mind-blowing (though I says it myself) sex twice or three times more. I cannot believe how beautiful she is. And we hooked up in a bar! I started a conversation which led to us getting together. At the age of only 31, I did it! And I think I can credit being porn-free with giving me the will to see it through.

I knew I didn't have a crutch to fall back on, so I couldn't afford to let the opportunity slide through my hands. I had to be at my best; be interesting and charming and work for it (as it should be!) And it was great! She's beautiful and smart. She speaks three languages. We spent the morning naked in bed together, talking, laughing and having sex. How much better is that than sitting alone jerking off over a keyboard? It's a thousand times better is what it is! This is what we are supposed to be doing. Making contact with people and enjoying each other, not sitting alone wanking!

And (sorry to go on about this but) she was so gorgeous! I just kept kissing her all over thinking about how lucky I was. When you have sex with someone, you give them your body as a gift and I really felt how special this is and how we should be thankful to the other person for being with us and savour every moment. I'm talking bollocks now cos I'm on a sex-high but I hope that doesn't discredit my message.

Women (and men!) are beautiful creatures with minds and souls and we ([hetro] men)* need to honour them and be grateful that they ever even let us near them. Porn (I think) is the opposite of this. Porn uses women (and men) for our gratification and turns them into objects or machines. I truly think we need to stop watching and start living before it's too late and we forget about what it is that makes us human.

* It's not just hetro men, incidentally, we all -- gay, lesbian, bi, transexual; everybody! -- need to be honouring and loving one another. Urgh, I sound like a hippy.

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